On the bus this morning, I sat in the front, which I now wish I had not done. I was sitting across the aisle from a guy who had many opinions, and was making sure the bus driver was absorbed in conversation with him about these many opinions. A few of them were about public transit, so the bus driver was interested and responding.
At first I ignored it. Opinionated people are not a rarity, and I know that I may be among their number. But finally, he made a remark about how our area was becoming "Vanier south" because of all the French people, then made a snide remark about not being able to tell Quebec jokes anymore. My blood began to boil, but I kept to myself.
At that moment, the woman beside me heard a ring from her purse, and pulled out a phone and answered it. This fellow, as loudly as he could (to ensure she heard his grievance), started talking about how there should be cell phone blockers on buses, and how people should set their phones to vibrate, and how, if they weren't going to do this he was going to buy a personal cell phone blocker from a vendor of such devices in Montreal and "do it for them."
It was my time to get off the bus. I was furious at how this man was deliberately trying to shame the woman beside me, and upset that the bus driver, who must have heard the proximity of the ring, was allowing his own passengers to be disparaged so casually in a conversation he was engaged in. Shaking with anger, I turned to the driver as I got up to get off and said, "You realize the woman he is complaining about is sitting right behind you?" The driver said something to express his confusion at my remark - what I don't remember - the adrenaline was rushing too hard for me to remember. The other fellow switched to stony silence, and I disembarked.
My passions cooled as soon as I got off the bus. I realized to myself, "Wait a minute, I've got to ride the bus with that guy every day!" I also realized that by my choice of words I might have sounded to the woman being maligned like I was joining in, so not only have I complicated my own life, I might have made worse what I wanted to better.
Oh how anger always kacks things up. Even "righteous" anger. :-(
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
I'm so embarassed
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2 comments:
I'm sure the woman interpreted it correctly. I bet the driver will forget about the incident by tomorrow! : )
As for how the woman took the comment, I cannot say. BUT!!!!!! I can commend you for speaking out when you see someone being treated badly. Who cares if you have to ride that bus again with those people??? It might make it a little more uncomfortable, but you did the right thing.
I do understand that engaging people like the other guy on the bus in an arguement is counter-productive. But I do not think saying something will egg him on any further...hopefully it will shut him up.
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