To party or not to party?

I am turning forty on Saturday. You don't have too many fortieth birthdays, and people often try and spring a surprise party on people who happen to turn forty. In this post, I examine the odds of a surprise party under certain scenarios.

Party at home, Friday Night

My wife wants to go to the cottage on the weekend. She said something on the weekend in exasperation about how tired she was by our busy weekend, and how she needed to be there next week to relax. So if anything is happening at home, it is likely on Friday night.

Pros: She took time off work and has been rearranging rooms, cleaning junk piles, going over the arrangement of furniture and shelves all through the house, top to bottom, all things she would do if she expected a lot of company soon. In theory this is happening because we are getting our windows changed this week. But why would workmen changing windows care about the arrangement and décor of our house?

Cons: She has been wanting to do these things for a while. Plus, she said the other day that we don't ever have company because she doesn't like our furniture, and it would be nice to change it so we could have company at Christmas. Also I recently spoke to some people I would have expected to be invited to any such affair, and the part of town I lived in came up – they didn't seem to have a clue as to which end of town I lived in, which certainly suggests they lacked knowledge about any party that would take place there.

Odds: 3:1

Party at the cottage, Saturday Night or Day

My wife does want to go to the cottage on the weekend. :-)

Pros: When we planned a birthday party for my brother in law in the past, she had the idea of having people 'just turn up' at the cottage until it dawned on him there was a huge crowd of people. She tends to repeat her modus operandi at these things. Also my sister in law called me today looking for my wife, which means she could be planning a trip over to the cottage. This would be a smaller gathering than the previous scenario, with more family but fewer friends, and so would be more manageable a party to throw. To boot, it is my brother in law's birthday the next day, so it would occur to her to try and combine the events.

Cons: Getting birthday party supplies up to the cottage would be hard to do and still escape notice.

Odds: even

Party at the Barley Mowe, Sunday Night

This is a pub on south Bank Street in Ottawa.

Pros: This would be the easiest way to gather church friends, for this is where they all go to drink.

Cons: My wife works very, very early in the morning the next day.

Odds: 5:1

No party at all

*sniff*

Pro: My wife has been very tired, and is quite busy with work. It may simply not be possible for her to organize anything.

Cons: I got her good three years ago with a surprise party.

Odds: 2:1

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The surprise? I am finding myself struggling with containing disappointment at the possibility that this last may be true. Why should I care if nobody throws me a party? I'm often uncomfortable at them anyways, due to my painful shyness. I already know that there are some people who like me, some who do not, and the existence of a party has no impact on the likelihood of either. It all brings me back to Henri Nouwens solitude vs. loneliness... a question I will address in my next post.