Friday, November 11, 2005

Party (part ii)

The truth of Earthly existence is that we are in a sense alone. Alone in our heads. We can hear the words other people say, but for those words to reach our comprehension they must:

  • originate as thoughts in his or her head

  • Be formulated as words;

  • He or she must then speak them

  • The words must travel as pressure waves through the air

  • We must render the pressure waves as hearing with our ears

  • We have to interpret the sounds, as well as any accompanying body language and any contextual knowledge we have about about the individual, and try to translate them into simpatico thoughts.

In other words, it is a very long and indirect route from your mind to my mind. Henri Nouwen points out that we often are more appreciative of our friends when they are not around then when they are. When we have them present, we speak and are worried for how our words will be taken, we concentrate on conveying our real inner meanings. When our friends are not present, instead, we often bask in glowing thoughts about their decency, generosity of spirit, and any other good qualities they possess.

And so it is that I can be cavalier about whether or not I see friends or family this weekend. I am alone. They are alone. But I can appreciate that they have attempted to reach beyond their solitude and into mine. And it is true that I can often appreciate it more when I have solitude to contemplate it with.

Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.

Sing and dance together and be joyous,
but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone
though they quiver with the same music.

(Kahlil Gibran)

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