I've been watching this saga of the handcuffed five year old, in which the mother is threatening to sue the police and teachers for the incident. I'd like to know what responsibility the mother feels she should be taking for this situation.
From what CNN says, this is the second time that this girl threw a hairy fit such that the police had to be called. Now, personally, I think the culpability of a five year old is minimal. I know from my own kids that children instinctively test the boundaries of what they can get away with, and it is largely the role of the parent to firmly set those boundaries.
But that does not appear to have happened here. The educators' first reaction, quite reasonably, was not to call the police - it was to call the girl's mother. A parent should accept the responsibility of being the child's primary caretaker. But, and I don't have the details, in this case the mother was apparently unwilling to do this (I don't know if calling the father was an option, also.)
There's no question that police with handcuffs is a failure - a failure to get the situation under control in a less traumatic manner. But without access to the parent, I'm not sure what the options were - the teachers appeared to be very patient with the girl, but unwilling to stand down. And when the police did arrive, the use of handcuffs permitted the girl's restraint in a way that minimized the girl's ability to harm herself.
That's surprisingly important. From the few hyper-fits my daughters had when they were younger, I can tell you that an out of control kid is definitely a danger to themselves. If they throw a fit near stairs or in a bathtub, there is real risk that a kid can hurt his or herself. And a kid throwing a fit is incredibly strong - the police, in handcuffing this girl, used as little force as they could in my opinion. That's a lot of the reason why they handcuff adult apprehendees - to prevent them from harming themselves.
This is a very unfortunate situation. However, the parent in this case had a responsibility to act in the role of the child's primary caregiver. Her failure to meet this standard, in my opinion, should prevent her from benefiting monetarily from a frivolous lawsuit concerning a situation only she had the power to prevent.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
The out-of-control kid
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3 comments:
I think it's ridiculous!! Bradsblog
While this situation is sad indeed, why is no one asking about the child? Everyone is accusing of the traumatic effects that this is going to have on the child. As Dawn said in Buffy (obviously paraphrased), "The teachers are blaming the parents, the parents are blaming the cops, when are people going to start blaming the child?"
Children are smarter than we give them credit for. Watching my neice, who is also five, children have a lot more sense of what they are doing than we think. If a child doesn't behave properly, there has to be a point to make them stop. Was it necessarily the best course of action? No. But there are limits and teachers can't be expected to drop everything and deal with children who aren't discipline. It's not the teacher's job, it's their job to teach.
I have to think that the ultimate responsibility is in the hands of the parent. A child that young, while accountable for his/her actions, only knows what he/she is taught. This kid must have been able to get away with bloody murder at home for it to come to handcuffs.
Only if a child was at the point of physically abusing me, other students, other faculty/staff, or him/herself would I ever think handcuffs were an option. Teachers and cops are a lot alike. Some of them get power trips from being "in charge". I know it sounds crazy...but I've seen people verbally intimidate a 13 year old and get a thrill from it....come on, it's a KID.
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