The wake today, funeral tomorrow

I don't know how I am going to do this. I realize the necessity of open casket wakes in coming to terms. But how can I see her like that? And more importantly, how can I watch the agony of my dear brother in law, or see my wife's suffering, when they go in with her like that?

As with all family church events, I have to do the singing. On the happy occasions, I love it. This time, not so much - but they need me to do this. I'm also a pallbearer, so the first song, one I wrote for their surprise wedding, will be from the recording.

My parents will arrive today. Thank God. My wife and I really need to see them. Both my wife's parents are gone now, and she regards my folks as hers too. I've been alone at home the last couple of days. Last night, my brother came and took me to a movie with his wife, brother-in-law, and sister-in-law. I thought it might be a relief to see a film. But the film in question, "Collateral" was very violent and brought me no relief or peace at all. In fact, I sat there looking at the bodies onscreen, realizing that I was going to have to see a real one the next day, of someone who was important to me. Still, the gesture was heartfelt, and I appreciated it.

As I was going to bed, I found a palm frond left over from the last palm sunday, stuck behind a painting. I put it on the ground, and I said, "Hosanna! Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord," in the hopes that He might come.

I'm still waiting, but I do know from experience that the Lord does things on his own schedule. I hope that He does come. Maranatha!

We were such a tightly knit family. An entire fleet of children, nieces, nephews, sisters, sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, and close friends have been traveling on all my brother-in-law's errands as one giant herd. I am hoping he takes some comfort from that.