Live Aid turning.... twenty?

Just seems like yesterday.

A year or so earlier, my folks bought a farm. 1985 would be the year that we tamed it. My Dad, my brother and I were working on a dirt road my Dad had had plowed out with a bulldozer. Now a freshly bulldozed road still needs a lot of work. The bulldozer is like a small tactical nuke - it just rushes in and makes a mess. Many tree roots get stuck in the road, and they have to be pulled out. And of course, there is the drainage issue - a new road is going to make swamps that have to be able to drain off, or your new road will cease to be a road.

Anyway - it was a billion degrees that day, and the horse flies were everywhere. The harder you work, the harder they bite. Sensing that this was my own era's woodstock, I did not want to miss the concert. So I had a whole pile of batteries for my ghetto blaster, and I took it with me on each section of road we worked on. And though we worked pretty hard that day, I still remember the concert fairly well. The music helped keep my mind off the biting flies as I wondered those important questions in life: was it true that Led Zeppelin were getting back together for this? Might even the Beatles, with Julian Lennon playing the part of his dad, turn in a performance? The music itself was kind of interesting - there were some acts that didn't do anything for me, but many were very interesting. Sting was showcasing his new jazz-sound that he continues with til this day. He had Branford Marsalis with him that day. Dire Straits, whom I would see in concert a few days later in Ottawa, played their new song, Money For Nothing. I remember thinking - this can't be Dire Straits! Then the voice kicked in. Weird, I thought.

We had gotten back to the farmhouse in time for one of my all time favourite performances - Eric Clapton. After a few lacklustre years, the master was back. I remember the long rest in White Room, where you know the guitar solo is going to kick in a moment, full bore. And then it did, and did not disappoint. Then a masterful version of the traditional version of Layla. Wow.

What an anti-climactic ending, though. Where some people thought maybe the Beatles would strut out, instead a drunken Ron Wood, Keith Richards, and Bob Dylan stumbled out, and struggled through the set at the local coffeehouse I am sure they thought they had stumbled in on.

Ah well. Live Aid II - can't wait! And all for a great cause still with us today - the badly beset people of Africa.

Check out this photo on "Lightonblog in Pictures"

We took this picture on our recent trip to the recording studio.

http://www.fotolog.net/admiralbob77/?photo_id=7869089

I learned a new word yesterday

Apotheosis - I read it at some Star Wars site. As my youngest daughter would say, "You're such a nerd." Yeah, I know.

Oddly enough, I encountered that very same word for the second time in my life reading a book that night, a book about God. The book made a very salient point about the flow of the Bible.

In the early books, the Torah, God is very present, and has very anthropomorphic qualities. In the earliest stories of Genesis, God even walks in the garden of Eden with Adam. Throughout the Torah he gets angry, he takes sides in human affairs, he offers counsel, and even seems perplexed at the misbehaviour of the Israelites in exile from Egypt (and who wouldn't be - worshipping idols scant literary moments after being rescued by their own God?)

But as the Bible grows more recent, the writers seem to become more aware of what God must really be like - far away, inscrutable, unlike humans in any way: not just an overseer of human beings, but the supreme creator of the universe. You get a glimpse of the changing impression of God in the Book of Job, when God recites some of the more mysterious things in nature and asks Job if he has understanding.

Christianity takes this and turns it on its head in the New Testament. Yes, the Godhead is fundamentally beyond our comprehension. But God takes the leap across that gap Himself, taking human form and setting for us an example of exactly what kind of human being He would be, were He one. I think that is one of the appealing things about Christianity. Other religions seek to comprehend God on a human level, too. Hinduism has a complex way of reducing the inconceivable Brahmin down to components and mythologies that are human in scope as well.

But in the singular person of Jesus, this task is accomplished with incredible conciseness and economy. Not multiple avatars, just a single one, with a single purpose - Love. And this love is a love so great that our God as man causes no ill to anyone; does not rebel against his Roman captors, or his priestly accusers; a love so great that it bears death for others transgresions; and lastly, a love so great that death cannot extinguish it - it must conquer death and be ressurected.

Me - lame notoriety seeker

I got a letter to the editor published in the Globe and Mail today. Yay me!

Fear, Reunions, & Rites of Passage

I got invited to my last high school's 20th anniversary reunion today. I must admit that I was surprised by how I felt about it - I was thrilled!

Normally I approach any sign of getting older with the same trepidation with which I approach booking a dentist appointment. Every gray hair is a sign of mortality. I usually suspect every sore and aching part of me owes its soreness to age, even when Occam’s Razor suggests a backbreaking day’s work in the forest with my brother in law is more likely to blame.

This time, I realized something else. I do eagerly look forward to seeing old classmates, some of whom I know well, some of whom I forget completely. But surprisingly, I also welcomed this as a rite of passage. I am not young anymore, and a high school reunion is one of the siren signs that this is so (cue "Big Chill" Motown music.)

It has literally been some peoples' lifetimes since I was in high school. I graduated twenty - twenty! - years ago. And oh, how much I have gained. I have years of trials and tribulations to look back on; I have twenty years of many joys and fulfilled dreams; and I’ve laughed and cried lots in that time.

Inside, I do not feel all that different. The wiring of my mind is quite the way I remember it always being, even as a small child. But now I carry with me decades of observations and a modicum of wisdom to filter it through. I am becoming more completely me, just as I realize how very far short I still am of the goal, and will always be.

Hopefully, I still have many years left to live. I am not done, and I do not feel as though I should be done. I’ve still got a lot to do, and lot to fix about myself. But I am at a point on the road where I can look at the odometer, and go, "wow!" and look outside at the terrain and see how new it all is.

I am looking forward to hearing how the lives of all my old school mates are going. I know little bits and pieces where some of them go, but the teller always better tells a tale. I've never been to an event that formally reflects on the past. (I'm not counting wedding anniversaries here :-) I look forward to the reminiscing, and the collective navel gazing.

Microsoft Team VIsual System Solution, no.. Microsoft Team Sol, er, no...

http://www.betanews.com/article.php3?sid=1085650446

Egads. Sounds more convoluted than "Weapons of Mass Destruction Program Related Activities."

Pentecost

This Sunday is Pentecost on the Christian calendar. Pentecost, and not Christmas, is the second holiest day on the calendar. While Pentecost is a specific Jewish feast mentioned in Leviticus, it has a very different meaning in Christendom. For us, it is a celebration of the events depicted in chapter 2 of the Book of Acts, when the disciples of Jesus, anointed by tongues of fire, gained the abilities they would need to go out and spread the faith. In many respects, the day is seen as the birth of the Church.

This blog is actually named after Pentecost. I'll have more to say on that if anyone ever starts reading it. :-)

Conning the Neo-cons

In retrospect, it is not too hard to see how we got here - the allegation that Iran tricked the world's mightiest nation into war on its old enemy. When you are an ideologue that really wants to believe something, not only do the facts fit together like a puzzle only you can see, but those who have something to gain from you seeing it that way rush in to supply the puzzle pieces.

This is the case with the wing-nuttiest members of the neo-con cabal in the White House. In Richard Clarke's book "Against All Enemies," he recounts how he was stunned one day while briefing the principals on terrorism, specifically Al Qaeda. Wolfowitz tried to change the subject to Iraq, claiming that Al Qaeda needed a state sponsor. Clarke's jaw dropped - he realized that Wolfowitz was spouting the "totally discredited" theories of Laurie Mylroie.

Mylroie is a highly accredited academic who nonetheless is apparently regarded as something of a kook by American intelligence agencies. Once an apologist for Iraq, she did what many zealots do and spun a full 180 degrees, around the time of the gulf war. She has spent much of the time since coming up with strange theories that place Iraq front and center at every terrorist act of any notoriety in the last ten years, theories that, to be charitable, are without any evidence at all of any kind. She wrote a book on these theories that many of the leading neo-cons were instrumental in helping her with. When 9/11 happened, it is hardly a surprise (in hindsight) that the ideologues in the White House would convince President Bush that Iraq was behind the terrorist attack: indeed they were quite unprepared to believe anything different, even if all the evidence pointed directly, and only, at Al Qaeda in Afghanistan.

Mylroie, incidentally, still flouts these theories, trying to resurrect the old canard that Mohammed Atta met with an Iraqi diplomat in the Chzech republic in April, 2001, a bizarre accusation that far right rags have swallowed hook, line, and sinker. The problem with this theory is that Atta was already in the United States on a weak tourist visa, and there is no record of him flying anywhere until the mid-summer - he simply could not possibly have met anyone in Prague. But because the theory is attractive to those who see Iraq at the centre of all things, they believe it on faith.

So it should come as no surprise that when a charming Iraqi exile named Ahmad Chalabi, leader of a group with all kinds of anti-Saddam intelligence merchandise implicating him in everything the neo-cons hoped he was involved in, not only did they become true believers, they became his sponsors. They devised plans to overthrow Saddam and instate Chalabi as Iraq's leader long before they came to power on their own, but convinced the Clinton-era government to make it policy. Chalabi's insurrectionist group began to get funding, despite the CIA's serious misgivings (justifiable ones) about the man's credibility.

When your devotion to a world view becomes an idol that you set up to worship, you will do anything to keep up the belief. Will you fall for con-artists in league with Iran, and allow yourself to be manipulated into doing Iran's work for it? Of course - if they can speak the language of your particular brand of idolatry, they become part of your belief system, too.

I hope Americans give serious thought to tossing these people out on their ears in November. The government of the US should operate in Washington, and not bow down to an idol manufactured in Tehran, or by a nutty conspiracy theorist.

The Lazy Hazy Days of Election Season

Paul Martin has called an election in Canada.

The poor electorate does not know what to do. With the full extent of the advertising scandal becoming clear, we're mostly furious with the Liberal Party. At the same time, however, people have become deeply suspicious of American-style politics. With the war in Iraq showing the serious errors in American-style foreign policy, as well as the nightmare Americans face in health coverage and drug prices, people will be quite nervous about the Conservative party as well, although Stephen Harper seems likable and competent.

Jack Layton speaks the language urban Canadians understand, but Ontario voters can't forget the highly ideological and union-beholden (the unions eventually bit the hand that fed, though) NDP government of Bob Rae that wrecked Canada's economic engine.

So who do we vote for? Perhaps people will have to focus on local candidates. In my riding, Monia Mazigh, the heroic soul who fought an international diplomatic conspiracy and freed her husband, is running for the NDP. I support many of the NDP's economically progessive policies - my grandfather was Tommy Douglas' close friend, and NDP voting is in the blood. But, being Catholic, it is difficult for me to accept a lot of the socially progressive stuff the NDP would foist on us all - call me a fuddy duddy, but that is who I am.

Maybe I'll call up her campaign office and find out where she stands on all this stuff.

Wanted: Thumb to Hammer

My two brothers-in-law and I began working on kitchen cabinets made out of barn board this last weekend. Despite how I am sure that sounds, they will end up a lot less rustic looking than, well, the side of an old barn.

Although wood when it is outside for a century turns gray and starts to rot, much of the inside of the board is fine. Over the last few months, we've recovered a lot of barn board from collapsed barns in the country side. We dry it out indoors, and then we plane off the old surface. Underneath is pine mostly (some oak and maple, but not much), but it is pine like you can't buy today. Pine today is milled from rapidly grown replanted trees, and the wood has little character - few knots and little colour to it. This old stuff looks like antique pine. But it also looks new!

It rained constantly. I went in swimming last week, but the ice only melted off the lake about a month ago, so it was quite chilly. This weekend, it was not hot enough to motivate me. And the water was even colder!

So it was just as well making cabinets. I am not a natural at carpentry. In fact, my Dad once chased me with a hammer after putting a huge dent in the panel he was having me nail. I know he has always valued many things about me, but I also know that he never believed I would ever be able to wield more than a staple gun. On the other hand some people are naturals - you should see the work my one brother in law does. And it is a good thing we had him to lead the way!

I have taken my few natural abilities quite far, considering the little innate talent I have for it. I know how to do tongue and groove on a table saw and a router. I'm good with a planer and a chop saw. I can operate a skill-saw, and a jigsaw. I can also mostly pound even finishing nails without putting all kinds of dents into the boards. I don't have many friends who can do all that! :)

A person does not have to get good at everything in life. But it is nice to know that if you work hard enough at it, you can take charge of your failings, and turn them into strengths.

Buzz Hargrove wins a game of 'Chicken'

Yep, he did.

You remember that game as a kid? I remember it - riding full bore on my bycycle, another kid grimly bearing down on his, heading straight at you. One of you buckles and turns away (that was usually me. I value life!)

Buzz Hargrove, CAW negotiator and chief, did that with Air Canada. He won. I am genuinely pleased by this, because his membership will still have jobs (looked iffy there for a while) and because obviously he managed to give away as little as possible. When you're negotiating on behalf of people who only make $34,000 a year, it's great to know that they have had what they have to give up reduced to a minimum.

It is always the guy on the bottom getting squeezed. Robert Milton, who to my knowledge has never flown a plane, fueled it, or sold tickets for it, was going to score millions of dollars in a "bonus" when Li was at the table. Bonus for what? His remarkable skill at running profitable airlines? Milton was apparently quite good when he was a lesser Air Canada executive, but I think he's got to prove himself again before he picks up any bonuses. And what an insult to the union members, who've had to tighten their belts!

But is it not always that way, these days? At so many publicly traded companies, non-owner CEOs collect incredible pay for mediocre quality leadership (or worse), while the staff are laid off, downsized, offshored, or paid less. Greed is soon going to have to give way to more useful motivations, or even the greedy will be screwed, when the rest of us no longer have enough to consume their services.

Israel Must Ease up on Gaza

I have long been a supporter of Israel's right to exist. Archaeology and DNA clearly shows that the Jewish people are indigenous descendants of the culture that inhabited that land, and archaologists such as Israel Finkelstein have made an irrefutable case.

But the recent carnage in Gaza is just too much. Razing a refugee camp and firing on protesters is just not called for. I know Israel needs to ensure its security, but there has to be a better way than this. Sharon should press the disengagement, and stop trying to please ultra-right wing fanatics.

What the Heck does "Anti-Choice" Mean?

In today's Globe and Mail, a letter to the editor refers to Conservative MP Elsie Wayne twice as "anti-choice."

What a ridiculous moniker to assign. I understand the need any movement has to create propaganda and buzzwords as part of the movement's language. But "anti-choice" has more layers than an onion (or an ogre, or a donkey.) It is an edifice constructed on the pro-choice movement's belief that they are not so much "pro-abortion" as for the choice being licitly available (an 'out' I suppose that lets politicians say that they are personally against it but are otherwise fine with it.)

If this movement wants to self-define in that way, that is their prerogative. But to devolve their self-definition down to their opponent, and affix the label "anti-choice" is plum ridiculous. Devolved down that far, it makes it sound like Elsie Wayne opposes your right to decide whether it is going to be mustard or ketchup on that hot dog, or whether you cheer for the Calgary Flames or the Philadelphia Flyers.

The movement opposing abortion self-defines as "pro-life." They should not have to wear the ridiculous banner designed for them by their opponents. It is the right of the pro-life movement to self-define as it sees fit - the embrace of human life, from the point at which they believe it begins.

So lets all leave the silliness that could just as easily insist Elsie Wayne wants to foreclose "choice" (about boxers or briefs?) behind.

I am Christian: You will (not) be Assimilated

I was in a BeliefNet discussion thread the other day, and ran into a Jewish fellow who was convinced I wanted to convert him. I can imagine Jewish people run into Christian proselytizers all the time, and I can't know what it is like. But I get the idea that some people think that all Christians have this as a motivation at heart. Let me set the record straight.

When the first missionaries, such as St. Paul and St. Barnabas, went about, nobody had heard of Christianity. Indeed, they had only recently made up the term, while at Antioch. But in our day and age, not only has just about everyone heard of Christianity, but the Internet makes available all the great apologetics of the last 2,000 years. Going door to door is just annoying, and Jesus Himself had this to say about such a thing; "For you cross sea and land to make a single convert, and you make the new convert twice as much a child of hell as yourselves."

Instead in this modern world, we are rather tasked by St. James; "I show my faith by what I do" he tells us, exhorting us to feed the hungry, look after the widows, and shelter the homeless. And of course, with so many aid agencies, schools, hospitals, and development projects that Catholics and other Christian churches run, many are living out that witness.

As to the Jewish people, I have no illusion that I personally could lead a Jew closer to God. When I was a teenager, my best friend was Jewish, and in very subtle ways I saw it first hand. Typically a Jew can read Hebrew, the very language most of the Bible is written in. And they have managed to persevere through incredible suffering - millennia of persecution and attempts to destroy their people have failed. How can anyone doubt that God loves and protects this people?

The big question that divides Jews and Christians is a matter of faith. As a Christian, it is important to me to see Jesus as the Messiah, because He is the very mercy that reaches down from Heaven to take pity on my pathetic state. On the other hand, Judaism looks to the arrival of a king akin to David, who will bring peace to the world. Either way, it is a matter of faith. As a matter of fact, it is something that could only be settled when (and if) the Messiah does come, either for the first or second time.

I've always chuckled at the saying of Martin Buber the Hasidic theologian, who presents this scenario; he suggests we would all go up to the Messiah and demand to know if He has come before. And before He would have the chance to respond, Buber would run up to Him and say, "And for Heaven's sake, don't answer them!"

I believe that when the Messiah does return, it will not be to triumphantly tell the Christians, "You were right!" or to tell others, "You were wrong!" If He is to bring peace, then He will reproach us all, for all the times we could have done it ourselves, and failed to. He will tell us we should have trusted in God, and not relied on ourselves or our mad belief that we are rational. And He will show us all the more excellent way - Love. When the Messiah comes (or as I believe Jesus returns), He will not be saying, "I am He." He has already told us as much. Instead He will ask as He always has, "Who do you say that I am?"

I speak the language of my faith. I can't help it. But I do not carry around in my head a marketing plan to turn Jews into Christians. I believe that God loves us all. And I celebrate that. I keep it that simple.

We'll Execute Anyone

Texas has once again executed someone not competent to be executed - a schizophrenic prisoner named Kelsey Patterson.

I oppose the death penalty. I think there are more life affirming ways of sentencing prisoners, all the while protecting the public. Governor Perry says that he did not commute the man's sentence, despite an unusual recommendation to do so from the Parole Board, because "Texas has no life without parole sentencing option." That's just an awful, awful reason, and I've heard it from so many death-enthralled governors turning down clemency requests. If there isn't such an option, why not put it in place? Of course they don't, because they don't want to stop executions - it sells at election time with the "hamg em high" voters that predominate everywhere, even here in Canada.

The daughter of the victim said, "I started the day off very pessimistic but it ended as I prayed it would." Now, it is very hard not to feel some sympathy, here. If your mother is brutally murdered, it would be almost instinctive to want revenge. But this is a prayer you cannot expect to have answered, nor was it, despite the fact that Patterson was executed.

God's standard is mercy. I can't help but remember how Sister Helen Prejean characterized one family member at an execution. He wanted to prop up the executee and re-execute him. Sister Helen says it is like giving the victim's families salt water to drink - you may want the cup offered you, but it will never slake your thirst.

As hard as it is, I think the only thing you can do is to forgive; God asks this of us not just because mercy is good for those we give it to, but also because it is good for us ourselves. How wonderful to have the hardness of your heart lifted from you by love!

Now I have never been to the place Michele Smith (the daughter) has been to, and I hope that it never happens to me, God willing. So I can't be too critical. But I pray that she be released from her anger, and that she finds the forgiveness God wants her to give.

The Day the Universe Got Kicked

About six billion years ago, the mysterious dark matter
restarted the universe's expansion, which had stalled. I can't help but
wonder if we owe our own solar system's existence to this event?

Gmail - yes, it would be nice

I am looking forward to Gmail.

With an ordinary mailbox, you have to check it all the time or you blow your limits. And with all the spam that gets through (I am a longtime Usenet poster, so I get a truckload) my heavy handed trimming causes lots of real email to go bye-bye.

With a gig of email, I don't have to worry about that crap anymore. I can just let the spam pour in, and search for what I am after.

The other problem with webmail is speed. Hotmail is so slooooow. Google has always kept things simple - no fancy-ass DHTML trying to mimic Windows - just a few simple html-standard interface elements.

Hopefully gmail has woken up MSN and Yahoo - nobody will use their pitiful services if they don't seriously step up to the plate. Me? I'm switching as soon as they open the doors.

The Miracle of the Holy Fire

Every Orthodox Easter at the Church of the Holy Sepulchre in Jerusalem, a fire leaps from the stones and lights candles at the Easter Vigil. It is an incredible miracle that happens like clockwork.

It is these simple miracles - a fire that alights regularly, or the Mary that bows to the cross on the roof of a Coptic Church in Zeitoun, Egypt - that testify so powerfully to faith. They are not enough to convince an unbeliever, sadly. But they make any believer cry out, "Abba! Father!"

Even simpler miracles abound in our lives every day. What trick of evolution led songbirds to sing so beautifully? How can the Milky Way be so bright and filled with tiny lights on a clear night in the country? How can sunsets be so different and yet consistently beautiful? And how is it God can be fully present to believers through a small piece of unleavened bread, such a humble way for such a great God to be manifest?

It is all such a mystery. And in mystery there is great beauty - God's ways are so inscrutable, and yet He is so plainly before us, weaving a magnificent tapestry no artist can equal.

Micrsoft Exchange tip for finding SMTP Addresses

The Microsoft Exchange Blog has a great tip for how to find SMTP email addresses. It used to be an easy task with Exchange 5.5, but the Active Directorification made it a lot harder.

I used this tip to dump a CSV file of the object class I needed, and voila! There it was...

Air Canada union Committing Suicide

Air Canada stands on the verge of being wiped out.

You have to scratch your head. Now I know that those who the CAW represents are at the bottom of Air Canada's wage range - people who only make $35,000 a year can't easily absorb a $10,000 a year hit. But regrettably, the alternative has been made plain - the company will be taken apart, closed, and sold off if a deal is not struck.

So CAW's intransigence is hard to understand. I know one CAW economist wrote an article about "Intransigent billionaires" when Victor Li did not bite, but something has to be understood - he could afford to be intransigent. It was his money, and he was fully free to either do the deal or walk away. He's a billionaire, and could comfortably walk away after an ultimatum.

Deutsche Bank has the same choice. They have the luxury of being able to just get up and go. The CAW are playing a dangerous, dangerous game. Can Buzz Hargrove really afford to put all those people out of work? Because it will happen.

The government must step in and help as well - I don't mean throwing money at Air Canada, that would be a waste. But Ottawa has to take some of the regulatory pressure off Air Canada and let it compete on a level playing field with JetsGo and WestJet.

60% of all air travel is done with Air Canada. Most shipping goes on Air Canada. I do not support a bail-out, and few Canadians do. But if Air Canada goes under, our economy will be screwed worse than SARS was able to do.

I finished "Life of Pi"

So I finished "Life of Pi" - once I finally got more than two consecutive minutes of consciousness on my hands, I plowed through it at my usual rate. What a wonderful book this is. If you have not read it yourself, leave now, go buy it, and then come back once you've read it. To meditate in the way that I wish to, I must spoil the story.

The book is very spare in establishing Pi's person - everything about him that is important is in some way tied to his journey. Everything from his childhood swimming lessons, the basic lesson in primal zoology he gets from his father, his own observations of animals as a zookeeper's son, and his varied religious conversions all play essential roles that make Pi's telling of his journey on the seas with Richard Parker meaningful.

Pi believes in God. But he also recognizes Atheists as brethren of a kind, who just walk a different path. Those who he really has no time for are agnostics - those who cannot choose. Pi believes that inevitably, you have to make a choice. This is important at the very end of the story - when Pi has finished his story the way he wants to tell it, the skeptical Japanese investigators are so unwilling to give it credence that Pi tells them a second story, similar in many ways to the first. It is more believable, but the story is cold and lacks much of the profundity and meaning of his first story.

In short, the author has cleverly put before us the agnostic moment Pi refers to earlier. He says to the incredulous investigators that he has given them two stories that account for the exact amount of time he was at sea: now they must choose. The first story is tragic, heroic and mythological; the second is tragic, to be sure, but disturbing and grim. Now the reader must choose as well.

And on the last page, the investigators do choose - they choose to believe. Yann Martel's author-figure is told at the book's outset that the story he is about to hear will make the hearer believe in God, and it either does, or it does not.

But it does not leave you doubting.

Weapons of Missing Destruction

So it looks like someone finally managed to find the invisible WMD. Well, allegedly, anyway.

Despite the frantic desperation with which neo-conservative ideologues are rushing to proclaim their vindication, I don't think they have even the pyrrhic victory they are desperately seeking to clutch.

How can this be proof Saddam had (and knew he had) WMD? You don't improvise an ineffective landmine out of them a year after the flight suit victory speech of George Bush if you have sarin stockpiles - you use them during the conflict itself. And yet it never happened.

At best, some bozo found a mislabeled artillery shell. And at worst, far more sinister implications have to be asked about - would a desperate President facing certain electoral defeat over his poor performance stoop this low? You would not at first think so, but with Seymour Hersh's revelations about institutional torture, you can't rule anything out anymore.

Certainly, the totally spent credibility of the Bush regime should give anyone pause. If David Kay couldn't find any WMD, how did a bunch of insurgents (who have less and less to do with the Ba'ath with each passing day) find them?

I've never been much for conspiracy theories. But I don't know what to believe anymore.

Iraqi council head killed by terrorists

A bomb has killed the head of the Iraqi Governing Council.

General Kimmitt says, "Days like today convince us even more so that the transfer must stay on track." Oh really? At this rate, you've got to wonder who will this transfer will be to. One of the critical elements of a stable government is (relative) security for its leaders - Iraqi "democracy" will not be able to survive attacks like this of any frequency - if Shiites start blaming Sunnis, or either look at the Kurds as agents of this sort of thing, the whole deal is off.

Life of Pi

I have just begun reading Yann Martel's Life of Pi. I am something of a speed reader. I can read a novel in about two hours. Unfortunately, I've taken to reading "Life of Pi" at bedtime, and lying in bed with a book, I can only last about two minutes before I fall asleep. So it may take a while.

Pi's interesting defense of zoos was a hoot. He goes into far too much depth for me to do a "fair use" quote. He essentially makes the case that the zoo is for animals like room service and being "free" in the wild is analogous to being homeless.

Its in chapter four.

Sunday Cyber-obligation

A new, ahem, something, called the "Church of Fools" has gone online. Created by the folks at Ship of Fools it aims to do worship services of a sort online. They even had the Anglican Bishop of London give a homily at the cyber pulpit.

And here I thought I was up to date watching the odd Mass on Vision TV!

Microsoft in Space

Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen funded a private space plane that set altitude records yesterday. Paul Allen is someone who has had a long interest in space. He has long been a significant funder of programs like SETI.

I am sure this is news that Linux lovers rejoice at. I bet they are hoping that Allen sends his old partner, Bill Gates, into space!

Nuke the Whales!

Every now and then I hit on a ditty that drives my wife crazy. I don't know why even I do it; once I get a song stuck in my head, I can't get it out. This one I took from the old seventies bumper sticker. It goes to the refrain of "Jingle Bells":

Nuke the whales, nuke the whales
Nuke the whales today
We've got to nuke all the whales
Before they get away

...my daughter thought up the last line.

(DISCLAIMER: No real whales were hurt during the making of this musical number.)

The Search for Q

No, not John De Lancie. More religion stuff.

I am not much of a believer in Q. Q is a theory about the origin of certain parts of the New Testament. It is essentially a belief that a now-lost primitive version of some of Jesus' sayings and doings is behind that which Matthew and Luke have in common with each other, but not with Mark. Some fanciful Q scholars have even attempted to reconstruct the text, by carefully comparing what Luke and Matthew have in common, and adding one or the other's version, (usually whichever seems more primitive.) Donald Harman Akenson kills the theory of Q quite dead in his book, Saint Saul (appendix II.) He probably kills my theory too, but here goes.

Many of the second century Church fathers asserted that Matthew was originally written in Aramaic, and was the earliest gospel. There are certain things in Matthew that suggest an Aramaic origin. The subtly written pun, "You are Peter, and on this rock I will build My Church" in Matthew 16:18 plays on two different meanings of the Aramaic word kephas, using two different Greek words that reek of a translation. You can picture the translator trying to convey the subtle word play in a way that a Greek would pick it up.

Then there is the recent theory that Gamaliel may have parodied the Sermon on the Mount in the very late second temple era, circa 70 AD. This suggests a very early, and very Aramaic, origin for Matthew.

I am no academic, but here is my fanciful theory: just like the Church fathers said, Matthew was written very early, and in Aramaic. But it was not Matthew, as we know it today. There may have been a few narrative parts in it, but it was essentially focused on Jesus' teachings. In this early Christian age and in Matthew's locale, the narrative of Jesus' life would not have been necessary - many of his disciples were still alive and could orally tell new disciples all about Jesus' doings. The teachings would have been what Matthew would want to capture: what better way to nip growing heresies in the bud than to write out as eloquently as possible all that Jesus taught?

At some point, a very liberally translated Greek copy of this Matthew made it into Luke's hands. Some of it he incorporated into the Sermon on the Plain, some of it elsewhere. Matthew itself would later have its skeletal narrative fleshed out and be rewritten in Greek for the benefit of new Gentile converts.

This is close enough to Q to satisfy some of the Q-adorers, I think. And it better fits the traditions of the early church fathers, who were only a century removed from the apostolic age, and deserve to be listened to about these things far more than scholars are willing to let them be.

My wife, the angel

Speaking of angels, I married one. She spends so much of her time helping her friends, she wears herself out. Have you ever met one of those people where you don't get how they can do so much for others?

Grace

I was watching Touched by an Angel the other day. Andrew told some good-deed doer that people had been trying to build stairways to heaven for a long time (think Tower of Babel) but that they always came up short. Andrew says that however high you get on that ladder you build, inevitably you must ask God to look down, have mercy and carry you the rest of the way.

Before modern astronomy revealed the true extent of the universe, I am sure that some fancied they could build a tower to heaven, if they could just figure out a way to get that high. I don't imagine it was just Nebuchadnezzar trying to do it, either. In our own era, there was the brazen provocation of the engineers who built the RMS Olympic, and then the RMS Titanic, who felt that even God could not sink the Titanic. (And it didn't even need God, just an iceberg, to go down.)

I can't get there by myself. I fail at attempts to win grace for myself all the time - reigning in my own grumpiness, fear, anger or selfishness is a task I fail at regularly. I know some people dismiss religious belief as a crutch. But what they say with dismissiveness, I assert with boldness; of course my Jesus is a crutch! I am totally adrift in this universe. We think we are powerful; our modern science has reduced mortality in North America to the point where most of us can predict the length of our comfortable lives. We know exactly how our future health will hold out, when it will give out, and can narrow to within two kinds of illnesses (heart disease and cancer) how we will check out.

But it is all an illusion; we have built our post-industrial industry on top of fossil fuels that will give out. And even the grains of sand on the beach can be numbered. In much of the rest of the world, people live with the same day to day uncertainty most of the animal kingdom gets by on. As beautiful as this universe is, it has little to offer us in the way of hope. We are not gods, nor are we part of God.

Instead it behooves us to rely on God. What we do wrong, He can forgive. What we lack materially, He will grant us spiritually. Where we suffer, He can promise respite.

He is my only hope. Nothing in this world would make any sense to me, myself included, without Him.

Agnes Dei! Miserere Nobis!

Forgiveness

The Pope was shot, in 1981 on this day.

There have always been people who have wanted to make a name for themselves by killing well-known or beloved figures. But what happens when the well-known or beloved figure forgives you? When Pope John Paul II visited Mehmet Ali Agca and forgave him, all the air deflated from the act, and the forgiveness became the story, and not the brutal act itself.

Likewise, the name of Gandhi's assassin is lost to history. Gandhi's own message of non-violence and fraternal relations between Hindus and Muslims has become his legacy.

We give people power over us when we allow them to anger us. The next time some terrorist act kills someone in an awful way, don't let them take that power over you. You do not have to excuse their acts, or explain them away - but if you forgive them, and relinquish your anger at them, you can focus on what is important: the lives lived, not the lives lost.

Nick Berg was an adventurous humanitarian who helped an African village learn to make bricks once. We can honour his memory by remembering him for who he really was - comedian, weightlifter, religious Jew, young man trying to make a place for himself in the world - because those are the things he chose for himself. The violent acts of terrorists are like many things that befall us - incomprehensible, an evil we are in some ways powerless to remove from the world.

Better to let a man define himself on his terms in life, than let others define it for him in death. Forgiveness does not mean making excuses for brutality. It means changing the meaning of the words "Nick Berg" for yourself. Those words should mean a life lived well, not a death suffered brutally.

This is Swami Vivekananda... I am not home right now, but...

Like a curiously large number of bloggers, I am in a band. I suppose the urge to create music must run parallel to the urge to write rambling expositions about life. Isn't that what so much music is?

The band even has a website that our drummer Ron maintains. In the picture, I am the fellow with the blonde "bowl on my head" haircut. I do not look anything like this now - that picture was taken ten years ago. Yes the band has been around that long. For a bit of a hint as to what we might sound like, you can try my MP3.com.au site - but other than the way I sing, the band does not really sound like that.

Anyway, the point of my writing here is not primarily self-promotion - it is a meditation on that which is Tim, our keyboard player. Tim is one of the most interesting people you could ever meet, but it would take you a while to realize it. His fashion and bearing are, well, quite "Joe Jim Bob Fred." He seems a regular guy, and yet, at the urging of a photographer he knew once, he did do modeling work, affecting a rather bohemian hip that is quite unlike who he looks to be, but is very in line with who he really is. The photographer captures his soul better than Tim himself does in his day to day appearance.

His bookshelf is full of Joseph Campbell books, various writings about the importance of mythology. I'd like to claim to have read them myself, but I have not. Tim once gave me, for my birthday, a copy of the super-string guy's book: Roger Penrose's "The Emperor's New Mind." I will surely have something to write about that someday, but I have misplaced this book at the moment (I did read it.)

Tim's answering machine used to be a treat - people would call and leave him a message just so that they could hear what the answering message said. Frequently the answering machine spoke with the voice of Swami Vivekananda. He was my favourite.

The band practiced quite often during the Clinton years. As a result, we wrote a number of unreleased (and frankly unreleasable) songs about Presidential indiscretions. We have had more serious work to do lately (working on a recording) and have been altogether too serious to write about George Bush's many Presidential difficulties.

In time, I say.

The bugs are out

Here in Ottawa, spring does not really get rolling until about... now. Tonight, we went for a walk to the store at dusk. How I love the approaching lushness in the air! There were small unseen things chirping and buzzing, and that humidity in the air that smells green.

And you thought I was going to complain about the bugs!

Planing barn-board

My brothers in law came up with the idea of making things out of barn board after one of them bought a planer. We have not yet decided what it is we're going to make, though - a floor? Wainscotting? Who knows?

What I can say is that planed barn board is beautiful wood. What a wonderful thing - you take these rotted old gray boards, you run them through a planer a few times, and even though they are a century old, they look like newly milled wood, but with real character.

Here are some of Louis Garnaccia's paintings of barns.

http://www.louisguarnaccia.com/landscapes.html

Terrorism, stereotypes, and blame

Poor Nick Berg. It seems the Iraqi police arrested him, and then the terrorist kidnappers got him three days after he was released by the police. It is getting to the point where civilian specialists and contractors who support the Iraqi rebuilding and CPA are all going to leave, which would leave the occupation and handover in awful shape.

The horrendous killing of Berg could be expected to lead some far right wingers to find a demographic group to blame, instead of the vicous terrorists who are actually responsible. For such an individualist bunch, some of them sure like to collectivize blame.

The particularly odious ChronWatch tosses out such a number.

The writer asks, "Where is the anger", implying rhetorically that Muslims in fact endorse this sorry business, because she has pointedly not quoted any Muslims objecting to it.

But it is a rhetorical trick, because of course Muslims have objected to it.

Americans I am sure do not want their entire civilization, or Christendom, blamed for the idiocy at Abu Ghraib prison. It behooves us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. If Westerners or Christians seek to avoid racial/religious blame for the actions of those of our party, we must avoid assigning such blame ourselves.

Collectivization is in fact the first step terrorists take in justifying their awful acts. When another group becomes a stereotype, they are already well on the way to becoming an enemy. It is not a place as a Christian that I can allow myself to go. Jesus says, "Every hair on your head is counted." God values our individuality - and I am not free to regard Iraqis as a bunch of terrorists, or worse.

I can't help but remember the interview with one of the hapless victims of Abu Ghraib. He didn't call what he'd been through "torture" even though it clearly was. He was too embarassed to go home, and wondered wistfully if he could go to the United States.

Does that sound like the same kind of man as Berg's murderers to you?

"Morons" indeed

I could not help but note the irony of my last post, even as I posted. "Morons" indeed, followed by the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi! I am certainly having trouble picturing St. Francis, instrument of peace, calling people morons. :-)

We all have a darkness to us. But I don't think of it as the beast inside, needing to burst out. Rather, our peculiar stresses and pressures nurture it, and like a well tended weed, it grows. Which means we have to work at tending the seed of goodness planted in us as well.

It does not come as naturally. But it does come - I think of the places I feel like I encounter God; sometimes in the winter, when I am out cutting dead Oaks for firewood with my brother in law, I feel like I draw near to Him. In the still of the woods, with the Sun beating down, little avalanches of snow falling off the cedars and pines when we brush into them, God is there, revealed in His creation, and in one of the many ways He gives peace. It is different for everyone, but for me, peace is there, in the woods.

I went for a walk tonight, to pick up my daughter from Girl Guides. I found a way to take that went into a bulldozed field. All over the field were Killdeer. You can tell them by their high pitched sound. They are a funny bird; they live mostly on land, but have webbed feet, and red eyes like Loons. In fact, they are closely related to Loons, and go back to ancient times.

Consider a scenario: a lake in Northern Canada, in the early fall. The golden sun is setting, and a herd of Edmontosauruses, large plant eating dinosaurs is doing a last little bit of twilight grazing in a field of sedges and thorns at the edge of the lake. A sing-song call, like an expertly played flute, splits the dry, chilled air - a loon.

They were around that long ago. When I think that there have been quietly growing forests like the ones my brother in law and I go out in for so long, I realize how patient God is. He is like the artist who is in no rush to complete the canvas - the picture is so close to what He wants, and is already stunningly perfect to any onlooker watching the master work; and yet He still takes His time bringing it to completion.

That is an artist truly at peace. And in trying to understand the artist, I share in the peace He so freely gives, if only for a moment.

The cycle of moron continues

According to the CBC, the terrorists that kidnapped Nick Berg brutally killed him, in retaliation for Abu Ghraib.

I am so long past believing violent opportunists. They want to kill, and their desire to do so comes from innate hatred. They would do it anyway, for any provocation. For anyone who was truly offended by Abu Ghraib, murdering someone in this way is absolutely the last way you would respond.

No, the only good reaction you can have to this atrocity, that atrocity, or any atrocity is the reaction of St. Francis of Assisi:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred let me sow love,
where there is injury, your pardon,
where there is doubt, true faith in you;
where there is despair in life let me bring hope,
where there is darkness, only light,
and where there is sadness, ever joy;

O Master grant that I may never seek
so much to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand,
to be loved, as to love with all my soul!
For it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
in giving of ourselves that we receive,
and in dying that we are born to eternal life.

I shall call it... "Mini-eclipse"

On June 8, 2004, Venus will cross in front of the Sun, for the first time in more than a century. The usual eclipse provisos: do not look directly at the Sun. Get the appopriate Sun lens, like welder's glasses etc.

http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?type=scienceNews&storyID=5105865

Saddam Hussein to be transfered to Iraqi custody

This according to CTV News.

They are certainly doing civilization a favour. I for one do not need to picture Saddam naked with the Abu Ghraib MPs giving the thumbs up!

Rumsfeld does "good job"

Apparently George Bush thinks that Donald Rumsfeld has done a superb job.

Now, granted, Rumsfeld saw his "invasion lite" theory work (maimed children aside) in the initial days of "Operation Iraqi Cellmate^H^H^H^H Freedom." But no sooner had they overthrown Saddam's regime that Rumsfeld's folly was plain to all. The National Library was burned and Hammurabi's Code, the world's oldest laws, are still unaccounted for.

Insurgency, even inside the green zone, began within months, and the US has never had the manpower to fight it at a level of strength sufficient to impose order. Its so bad that only "limited sovereignty" will get passed on Karl Rove's June 30 date. And now, with news that the "Torture chambers and rape rooms" did not close with Saddam, but only came under new management, what liberation has in fact taken place?

The Abu Ghraib scandal is the direct descendant of the "brutality lite" mentality that arose with the whole concept of extra-legal detentions at Camp X-Ray. It is a personal legacy of Rumsfeld that he could have reasonably foreseen.

He has said that he is "accountable." Well - don't do the Janet Reno accountability game. Don't just take accountability with your words. Take it with your resignation!

I had a dream that my daughter changed all my posts

Upon waking up, of course, I realized this dream presupposed that she is interested in anything I have to say. :-) Not very realistic, to say the least.

Its funny how kids grow up. One day, you have what people describe as a "young family." Then there comes a point in time when suddenly you can't call it that anymore. The kids are 18 and 10. There are no babies in the household anymore. No cute little kids.

How did this happen? Oh for the ability to wander back and forth inside our lives, and visit those "young family" days. But then, there would be the temptation to just stay in the years you like. We might avoid some of the best years - the ones to come!

Rollercoaster Tycoon is making me a nervous wreck

My daughters play Rollercoaster Tycoon all the time. I have lost a laptop to this alleged game (DOS attack or virus is more like it.)

My peace of mind is collateral damage to this game too. I like to go out on the deck in the spring and summer, sip lemonade and watch the sun go down, and think peaceful thoughts.

The last couple of days have made that difficult. I do so to the strains of virtual theme park attendees plunging to their deaths on a virtual roller coaster. I am hoping that interest in this game wanes soon, before I jump the rails.

Altar girls can stay

I am going to go religious on you. You'll see that happen a lot in this blog. Can't be helped - I have what one BeliefNet writer called (I'm paraphrasing) the patina of belief written all over me.

The Catholic Church has been fussing over the Mass again. Our endless fretting over how to properly celebrate correctly the ancient forms of the Liturgy of the Word, and Liturgy of the Eucharist is something only Catholics (and maybe Greek Orthodox) will get. Well maybe some Anglicans too. The high church ones who like to waft incense about.

The Vatican has been busy coming up with new liturgical guidelines. As usual, they offer concessions to both the conservative-minded and liberal-minded camps. Altar girls can stay. Lay homilists get the bum's rush. (Disclaimer: I am the father of one current and one former altar girl.)

I recall watching Mel Gibson saying in an interview that he does not believe transubstantiation happens in the form of the Mass celebrated today. "Some things are missing," I think he said. And you know, I think there are some things that probably weren't that great an idea. Some of the vernacular translations of the various prayers are not that great - "Et cum spiritu tuo" does not translate as "And also with you", but is better reflected by the Anglican "And with thy spirit."

But ultimately, does it matter? The Mass is not magic, and the Priest is not a sorcerer invoking a magic formula. Transubstantiation is God's power at work, work He himself achieved at Calvary and first offered in the Upper Room (in Aramaic, Hebrew, or Greek.) God is the merciful all loving Father, the selfless obedient Son, and the Love between them at work in the world. He told us His Church would never fail.

I think sometimes that the biggest enemies of hope are fear and doubt. How is it that we lack trust in God? He will preserve for us the miracle of the Eucharist. He earned it at great cost. He is not going to let slight alterations in magic rubric rules take it away. Mel Gibson's own movie shows how high a price Jesus Himself paid to save the world. We must trust that the grace that is in this sacramental gift remains with us, just as baptism does too.

He is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. With God, all things are possible!

Conservative apologists for Abu Ghraib

There is a disturbing trend on the fringes of the debate over the horrific imagery from Abu Ghraib: defending, or attempting to minimize, the abuses. I'm not refering to the idiotic Limbaugh drivel about how Abu Ghraib was just a glorified hazing. I'm talking about fairly serious commentators doing the "yeah but" routine, such as Intellectual Conservative's Aaron Goldstein:


http://www.intellectualconservative.com/article3407.html


Goldstein writes, "Nonetheless, the self righteous indignation of the Washington Press Corps and the Left demonstrates they care more about toppling the Bush Administration than they do about the plight of Iraqis." He goes on to tell us that the abuses took place in January, not in April, as if that was important.

Now, as far as I know, these prisoners, the latest photo of which shows a naked man being bitten by an attack dog, are Iraqis, no? And certainly the sad story behind the specific Iraqi portrayed in one of these photos bruised, dead, and on an iced stretcher would count as an Iraqi plight. But so long as the President runs the risk of being "toppled", this is just grist for a partisan mill, I suppose.

Goldstein then rambles over to the story of the four contractors, for whom Fallujah got flattened. And you know, this was an awful thing. I am not going to minimize it, and I am not going to "yeah but" it. My initial reaction to such a thing was "Jesus wept" (not very Muslim of me, but I am a Christian after all. :-)

He suggests, however, that the media ignored this story. Now this was only a few short weeks ago, and I seem to recall this as the 24/7 story of the week. There was nothing but discussion of this incident, and I can remember the networks agonizing about how much charred flesh to show. So I have to ask - what the devil is the writer talking about!?

Then Goldstein gets really weird and starts talking about Sudan. Now as a Christian, I am more bothered by the Sudanese massacres than, well, just about anything. But is it not clear what Goldstein is attempting? He's like the vagabond snatching an old lady's purse while a murder fortuitously happens across the street: "Look, um... over there! That guy's much awfuller!!"

The fact is we all look up to the United States. Even in the parts of the world where they claim to hate the US and call it the "Great Satan", I'd bet good money that secretly many folks admire at least the idealistic democratic vision that Jefferson, Washington, Franklin, et al had in mind for a great Republic.

As a result, yes, the world wants to hold the US to a higher standard. And why not? I mean - would a great country known for its fairness and decency want to be on the same baseline as Britain, France, Canada... or Sudan - when evaluating how fair a society is to its prisoners?

I keep forgetting though, don't I... Britain is involved in this, too. And Canada's soldiers beat a guy to death in Somalia.

*sigh*

Welcome - I think

Well, I have now entered the realm of blogging. Not a surprise, I should think. We're all convinced we have something important to say, right?

Well, I am certainly not off to a great start. If content is King, I've just created a new pauper, I suppose. But I will get better at it, I promise. I write articles for various things, such as my parish newspaper, so perhaps I can convince myself to rise to the occasion and pompously pontificate powerfully!

I do not know where this will lead me. I like to think about many different things, but I find I only write about a relative few. I spend a lot of time worrying about war, and altogether too much time worrying about the war in Iraq. I think about God a lot. And I contemplate the rich and soulful "Confessions" of St. Augustine as often as I can.

So that could lead to quite a boring blog. I hope not, however, and hope rests eternal. :-)